lydiascreams | [030. Everybody's gotta find their way out. Shining through the dark.]

[030. Everybody's gotta find their way out. Shining through the dark.]

[Friends]
[Lydia doesn't look too happy, but it's hard to tell what, exactly, is off about her. She's definitely concerned and overall, there's something heavier about her posture, her expression.

She's sitting by her desk and beside her communicator is, a pile of the books given to her for Christmas about the supernatural and about banshees. She's been studying.]

I know a lot of people have been feeling off since we got back from the port. I was in the infirmary myself for over a day. But there's something else going on. Something about the Barge is different, I don't know what, exactly. But I can feel it.

It's not death, but almost like a shadow. We all need to be careful. [She knows not everyone she considers her friend knows she's a banshee. But she cares about them so she wants to warn them. She's just not ready to announce it to the entire barge and cause panic.]

[Andrew]
[That's not the only thing worrying her, however. She has her warden item, her key, in her hand and is looking down at it when she starts the video to her inmate.]

Hey. I think we need to talk.

[Spam - Kira]
[She has heard about Kira being awake again after her time at the infirmary. She hasn't been over there to see her yet, though. And she hasn't really talked to her since the day she learned about Jackson.

And she knows it's about time for her to apologize. Or-- at least make things clearer. So she makes her way over to Kira's room and knocks on her door, hoping she's actually there so they can get this over with.]

[Allison]
[She feels silly, leaving her a message like this. But she used to write her texts before coming here, before Allison's arrival. Of things she needed to talk to her best friend about. And she has been talking to her in her room, but right now she feels like she can't leave because she has research to do. To stop someone else from getting hurt. So this will have to do.]

I need you to wake up. If something bad's about to happen, [And it is.] I need to know for sure you're okay.

[Jean]
[She's been meaning to do this since he arrived, but there's been so much going on, she never actually followed through with it. But now that she's talking to him again, she figures he's waited long enough.]

Hey Jean, can I ask you something?

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[She expects the first question to be 'so you're not human', which, she supposes isn't that shocking. Vergil calls her a demon, after all. But she doesn't know if she's human or not. She gets hurt like one, she ages like one and she's as fragile as one. But her hearing is attuned to the supernatural. So what does that make her?

His follow up question though, confuses her. It's not exactly what people ask when she tells them what she is.]

Seventeen. Almost eighteen. Why?

The only thing I've encountered like a banshee was...ancient. As old as anything that's lived.

[But he's already gotten some hints of the Our ____ Are Different trope from Scott.]

...I think what I'm really asking is what being a banshee means to you. In your world.

[That is definitely a question she wishes she had an answer for. Lydia takes a deep breath and shakes her head.]

I don't know. [And she's clearly frustrated by this. But she shakes it off some by sitting up.]

From what I understand, it's something I was born with. But it wasn't until I was bitten by a werewolf that my-- abilities really started to show. [She doesn't like using the word powers. She doesn't feel powerful, much to the contrary, actually.]

I've aged normally so far.

[He nods, thoughtful and solemn.]

You were born with it. Does that mean one of your parents...?

[He can't say is a banshee because it might very well be was, which would explain how there's been nobody to answer these questions for her. And he knows exactly how that is.]

Not that I know of. They don't know about what I am, or anything about the supernatural.

[She can't imagine her egocentric father finding out, he'd call it one of her meltdowns and send her off to Eichen, probably. Her mom would likely try to get her help, but would still think she's crazy.]

But they were never bitten by werewolves, either. So I suppose it's possible.

I'm sorry there's nobody who can teach you about this. I didn't have anyone, either, when I was growing up with magic.

[Back to the matter at hand.]

...I've heard the port was haunted. Do you think a spirit might have come back onto the ship?

[This is based entirely on what terrible crappy things banshees get up to in his world. Messing around with the lines between the dead and the living, etc]

Maybe you could tell me a few things about how you figured it out. [She has the pack, now. But they don't really know other banshees. Only Meredith and only briefly. And she was locked up in a mental institution.

But they do have more important things to focus on, so she takes a deep breath.]

It's possible. But this doesn't feel like death. It's not whispering to me like the dead usually do. It's just-- there.

[So she doesn't think someone's about to die. Part of him wonders whether death shouldn't always be present on the Barge, given the state of its Inmates, but he decides to address her first question instead.]

When I was young I just did the best I could to control it, to not to let it show. All I knew about magic was that I'd be put to death for having it - I didn't realise that it's something most people can't just...use, the way I did, without being taught. Later on I met someone who helped me. He had books, he'd met other sorcerers. I never had. I learnt a lot from him.

[He makes a small gesture at the books she's got nearby.]

Are those any help to you?

[Death is definitely always present here, but she got used to it being there, it doesn't interfere with her as much anymore. And when a new death is about to happen, she can pick up on it because the voices get louder.

Pursing her lips together, she glances over at the books, then sighs and shakes her head.]

Not so much. They tell me about other banshees, or banshees in stories. But not from my world, or from my time. I feel like if I was able to figure out where it came from, I'd have a better chance at figuring out how to deal with it.

[But that means going home, and she can't do that.]

You're probably right.

You never met another banshee from your world?

No. [She pauses, takes a deep breath, then goes on.]

My friends met one, briefly. She knew I was in trouble and she could hear me. I didn't realize this at the time, but it was almost like we are all connected. Like we can hear each other the same way we hear the dead.

Of course, she was in a mental hospital, I assume because she admitted to hearing voices.

[It's the first time he's heard of the concept of a mental hospital, but since Cambridge explained mental health as being akin to the treatment of physical injuries, it makes more sense.]

...and nobody knew she was telling the truth, because that's all a secret, where you're from.

[Lydia nods slightly, pursing her lips together.]

Magic, and the supernatural. Most people try to find logical, human explanations to all of it. They're too afraid to accept it. And-- when it's real, they assume the person is crazy. I thought I was going insane for a long time before I was able to wrap my head around it.

I'm sorry.

...I'd like to help, however I can. Nobody ought to feel like they don't understand what they are.

I just wish I knew what I could do to- help.

Thanks, Merlin. I really appreciate your help.

[She takes a deep breath, hesitating before going on.]

I feel like there's one thing I can do to try and find answers. But-- I'm not ready to do it yet.

...what is it?

Go home. Search through my family history, see if I can find anything unusual. Ask my mom about it in a backwards way that she won't notice. [But...]

I need to get my deal, first. I can't go home when things are still the way they were when I left.

[He nods.]

Have you spoken to anyone else on board? There are people here who've travelled a lot, seen a lot. They may not have the same kind of banshees in their world but they might be able to help you.

I have.

I spoke with Vergil and now Dean. Vergil has met banshees in his world before, but they were different. [And then there's Sylvanas who's an actual banshee on board, but they don't exactly get along.]

And Dean knows of them. Most of the other banshees are dead, though. And I'm not. My body is pretty much just human.

They weren't able to tell you anything that would help you? I'm sorry.

[He had to spend more than half his life having to work things out for himself. He wouldn't want that for anyone else.]

It's difficult with all of us being from different worlds.

I learned some when I was-- a different me, the one from another barge. She had control over her abilities. [But she's a terrible person.]

[He hesitates, not sure what to make of that. As much as he doesn't want to change the subject, this seems important...?]

There are other Barges?

[Oh. He doesn't know. She doesn't mind the change of subject much, though. This is important. So she nods.]

Two others, at least. With different versions of us. [One where Alan, a guy version of her best friend, lives. And the second one...]

The one we keep running into, is what people call the mirror barge. There are versions of all of us in there, but they're different. They had different experiences, they became someone else along the way. Most of them are not good people.

[Trying to process this. Not straightforward.]

So you - you met another version of yourself?

Not-- exactly.

[This is just a complicated question overall, but at least Merlin is smart.]

When the barges collide, only one version of you exists. So the first time it happened, I was in her head for a few days. I remember what happened during that time. And I also remember some of who she is, what led her to the barge and everything.

The second time, she was in my head. But I had control. So I assume she has my memories now.

[030. Everybody's gotta find their way out. Shining through the dark.]

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