lydiascreams | [030. Everybody's gotta find their way out. Shining through the dark.]

[Friends]
[Lydia doesn't look too happy, but it's hard to tell what, exactly, is off about her. She's definitely concerned and overall, there's something heavier about her posture, her expression.

She's sitting by her desk and beside her communicator is, a pile of the books given to her for Christmas about the supernatural and about banshees. She's been studying.]

I know a lot of people have been feeling off since we got back from the port. I was in the infirmary myself for over a day. But there's something else going on. Something about the Barge is different, I don't know what, exactly. But I can feel it.

It's not death, but almost like a shadow. We all need to be careful. [She knows not everyone she considers her friend knows she's a banshee. But she cares about them so she wants to warn them. She's just not ready to announce it to the entire barge and cause panic.]

[Andrew]
[That's not the only thing worrying her, however. She has her warden item, her key, in her hand and is looking down at it when she starts the video to her inmate.]

Hey. I think we need to talk.

[Spam - Kira]
[She has heard about Kira being awake again after her time at the infirmary. She hasn't been over there to see her yet, though. And she hasn't really talked to her since the day she learned about Jackson.

And she knows it's about time for her to apologize. Or-- at least make things clearer. So she makes her way over to Kira's room and knocks on her door, hoping she's actually there so they can get this over with.]

[Allison]
[She feels silly, leaving her a message like this. But she used to write her texts before coming here, before Allison's arrival. Of things she needed to talk to her best friend about. And she has been talking to her in her room, but right now she feels like she can't leave because she has research to do. To stop someone else from getting hurt. So this will have to do.]

I need you to wake up. If something bad's about to happen, [And it is.] I need to know for sure you're okay.

[Jean]
[She's been meaning to do this since he arrived, but there's been so much going on, she never actually followed through with it. But now that she's talking to him again, she figures he's waited long enough.]

Hey Jean, can I ask you something?

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[He exhales slowly and reluctantly turns to face her, still chewing his thumbnail as he meets her eyes. He doesn't want to say the words out loud that he thought he was going to die. He doesn't want her or Scott or any of them to think it was that he'd lost faith in them. He'd thought that it was inevitable, that even if he'd gotten unpossessed somehow, he was still dying from the same disease that had killed his mom.

He doesn't say it.

His gaze drops to her hands and he slowly reaches out and takes them, letting her tug him closer until he's sitting beside her.]

[She can tell, from the look on his face that this is bigger than just wrong place/wrong person type of situation. He doesn't just regret it, there's definitely more to it than that.]

I'm glad you told me. [And if this was anyone else she's slept with in the past, she might be annoyed because they were talking about other girls with her. But not with Stiles. They're in this for the long run, she understands how important it is to make things right, to talk it out.]

Whatever happened then, that whole situation you were in. It's over, Stiles. We're changing so many things when we go back. Any regrets or worries you have about it, they won't matter anymore. [They won't exist. Because her deal is for him to never get possessed in the first place.]

That may not even ever happen at all.

[He lets out a breath and leans his elbows on his knees, nodding as she talks.]

Yeah. I know. You're right. It's not going to matter eventually.

[Because it's never going to happen at all. Their deals will erase it all together.]

But...until I get tested, we can't... [He glances up at her.] Be together like that. Because I won't risk you. Not even a little bit.

That's okay.

[She rubs a hand over his back, then presses a kiss to his shoulder as she leans her chin over it.]

I'll take it again, too. Just to make sure we're both safe.

[Lydia lifts her head and cocks it slightly to look at him. She doesn't want him to feel humiliated, or to feel inadequate, but she wants to know. And since they're talking about it now, she might as well get it all out there.]

Was that the only time? For you?

[He leans his head against hers for a moment, smiling faintly when she says she'll take another test just in case. He's not worried, though. Not really.

He chews his lower lip at the question and lets out a breath.]

Yeah. It was. [He's not humiliated, mostly because he's pretty sure she probably already knew the answer anyway. It wasn't like it had been a huge secret. Half the kids at school had known he was a virgin. Mostly because he'd dramatically announced it in the boy's locker room one day when the sacrifices were going on.

Fortunately, he isn't the type who's ever cared that much if people are talking about him or not.]

But I've done a lot of research?

[She nods when he says it was, but she can't help but laugh a little at his admission.]

Oh, I'm sure you have. I'm not worried. [She smiles and kisses his cheek softly. If anything, the fact that they're having such a mature conversation like this before anything happens, should be a really good sign.]

But I also want you to know that there's no pressure, even after we get our test results back. I want you to be comfortable, Stiles.

[It's mostly why he said it. That and it's true. He's a teenage boy and he's a teenage boy who likes research. When said research happens to be reading about sex or watching porn? Even better.]

I will be. [He turns his head and kisses her softly on the mouth.] Because I'll be with you.

[She kisses him softly, too. Determined to behave until his comfortable, until their tests are done because the last thing she wants is for him to have a bad second experience.]

Okay, just one more question, then. Two, I guess, [She smiles against his lips then pulls back a little to look at him.]

Is there something specific you have in mind? Would you rather plan it, or just-- let it happen? [Because she'll be planning it, anyway. And she's sure he knows that. But she wants to know if he wants in on it.]

[He's pretty sure there's no way that's even possible with Lydia.]

Okay, shoot.

[They aren't the questions he's expecting, but he's not entirely surprised by them either. He smiles a little, and shakes his head.]

I don't have anything specific in mind. But maybe a combination of both would be cool?

Okay, I can do that. [She'll plan all of it and just let him know it's a date. She knows Stiles is smart enough to figure her out when she's up to something.

When he smiles, she smiles back, holding his gaze as she focuses on him. At least for now, her concerns about the Barge are totally forgotten.]

I love you.

[He does. He's also pretty confident about letting her do the guiding on this, until he knows what he's doing.

His concerns about the Barge are forgotten for now, too, and he lifts his hand to her cheek, leaning into kiss her at the whispered words.]

I love you too.

[030. Everybody's gotta find their way out. Shining through the dark.]

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