lydiascreams | [024. I was looking for a breath of a life]

[Public Video]
[When Lydia shows up on the video, she's sitting in her entertainment room, her dog Prada in a Santa hat is sitting right next to her, obediently looking at the camera and she looks pretty happy. Not kinda-crazy-there's-a-flood-or-something happy, but genuinely so.]

As many of you know, and maybe some of you don't, I've been organizing events for the passengers, so we can all hang out together, get to know each other better. And also relax.

Things have been crazy lately, and it's been a couple of months since the last one. But now, with the holidays, I figured it would be the perfect time for us to have another movie night.

Like promised last time, we'll be watching Star Wars episodes 4, 5 and 6 this Sunday, the 28th.

Everyone interested let me know so I can get a common room set up and make sure we have snacks and everything we need. You can RSVP with me, or leave your name at the sign up sheet I'm leaving in the dining hall until tomorrow night.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Thank you for all the gifts, they were wonderful.

[Private video - pack + extended pack]
I don't think I have to say that your presence is required, right? Especially yours, Scott. [And yes, this is part of her master plan to see how he's acting around Kira. But also, she knows how much it means to Stiles that he actually watches these movies with him.]

[Private video - Stiles]
[Her face softens as she starts her message to him. What she wants to talk to him about isn't actually great, but she's hoping she's found a way to say it that she won't hurt his feelings or make him feel bad in any way.]
Hey, are you busy?

[Post-marathon spam - Scott]
[Scott's reaction to Kira during the movie marathon was-- subpar, at best, in Lydia's opinion. Well, no, it was actually pretty terribly awkward. She's not sure what exactly is going on with him because while at some points he was definitely looking at her like he wanted to say something, it was pretty obvious he was holding back.

She knows she'll have to give Kira her verdict soon, so she needs to figure things out for sure before she gets her hopes up even more and ends up getting her hurt because she somehow misread something. Which sounds absolutely ridiculous, but she's not going to take chances.

Which is why she sent Scott a message and asked him to come meet her up on the deck.

She's already there, sitting down on one of the chairs with Prada laying down on her lap. It's pretty quiet and she makes a mental note to come up here more often.]

[ooc: Open Spam: if you want Lydia to nudge your character into going to movie night, feel free to run into her somewhere on the ship. Can be the dining hall, or the hallways. The library, etc.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She nods slightly, relieved to hear that he's going home when the time comes. She can't imagine how lost they'd all be without him around.]

I know it's not an easy decision, so you should take your time trying to figure it out. I just don't think it's fair to either one of you to continue in a relationship when-- you won't be able to be together in the future.

[It's not something that's easy for her to say, because she knows it can't be easy for him to hear. But from how lost he looks, she's guessing he needs to hear it.]

Maybe you need to take some time to figure it out and then go back there.

[He wants to tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about. He wants to get angry and insist they'll find a way, because he loves Daneca, he does, and he knows how she feels. She loves him too, can't love him less because she decided she couldn't stay here any longer. How can he blame her for that? as much as he believes in what's done here, he isn't blind. Their first date was in a different universe, as different people. Worse people. She had every right to leave.

But how are they supposed to make this work?

Scott shakes his head, finally shifting Prada off his lap so he can stand. Lydia isn't wrong, he knows that. She does know what she's talking about. He just wishes she didn't.

Dropping his jaw and scratching at his nose, he starts to nod and just ends up shaking his head again.]

I don't...I just - I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.

[She makes no move to get up when he does, just pulls Prada back on her lap and looks up at Scott. This isn't how she imagined this conversation going. But she knows he'll need time. And she'll want to support him through this as much as she can. Out of all of them, she's probably the one who had the closest experience to this. With Jackson. And with Allison in France, she went through that pretty much alone.]

I get that. Like I said, you should take your time, but you should think about it, Scott.

[Lydia takes a deep breath, then shakes her head.]

No matter how long you wait, though, I can tell you it won't make it any easier. [Not until it's done. Even after they broke up, she didn't start moving on from Jackson until he moved. And she pretty much had to force herself to do it. But she has that kind of discipline, she assumes Scott will need a little help with it.]

That's what I was afraid of.

[He mumbles it, looking down at his hands. He's picturing them in gloves. He's picturing holding her gloved hands. He's picturing her hands without gloves. He's picturing a lot of things, none of which will really help in a long run. But he doesn't want to make the long run, he just wants to sprint, he wants to miss her and think about when he'll next see her, and--

Nodding to himself, Scott lets out a long breath, forcing his head up and his shoulders back.]

I will think about it. [He manages a small smile for Lydia.]

I guess I don't know if Kira knows, but...

[He trails off, because he still doesn't know what to say to her, or how to feel, because it still feels like they keep missing each other, like their timing is wrong. But he can't just give up on Daneca. He doesn't move on easily.]

Edited 2015-02-12 00:46 (UTC)

[While he's standing there, Lydia decides that just giving him some time is probably the best option. She knows she's said a lot to him, she knows he'll need to face this and she knows it'll be hard.

But then he mentions Kira and all of the sudden, she feels guilty.

Wincing, she shifts on her seat and she knows Scott can probably smell how uncomfortable she is, so maybe she just needs to be honest with him.]

She doesn't know. Not really. And-- I might have encouraged her to go for it, for you. Because I had no idea you were still with Daneca.

Oh.

[He looks off, out at the stars. Maybe he should be angry, but he's not. Because a part of him - not a little part, either - wishes he could just go home with Kira, and see where life takes them.

But he won't leave the Barge, and he can't just forget Daneca. She was important to him. Is, he corrects himself. She is important to him.]

Sorry. Guess I should've said something.

[With a soft sigh, Lydia shakes her head. And finally stands up, too, after setting Prada down.]

You don't have to apologize. I shouldn't have said anything when I didn't know for sure.

I can talk to her.

Thanks, Lydia.

[He's not sure what else to say, so he smiles a little at her. It's like everything is shifting, now. He didn't want it to, but he doesn't know how to go backwards, either. You can't just un-have a conversation. He turns for the door again.]

I have some treats for Prada in the clinic, if you wanna stop by whenever.

[Lydia nods a little. And Prada immediately barks excitedly at the t-word.

She smiles slightly at the dog, then looks back at Scott.]

I'll be by soon. Thank you.

[024. I was looking for a breath of a life]

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