lydiascreams | [033. Keep giving me hope for a better day.]

[Video - Pack + Friends*]
(ooc: *if you could see Stiles' previous filter, you can see this, + Lydia's friends.)

[Lydia is definitely looking a lot better than she was before the port. There's a massive pile of shopping bags on her bed that she still needs to put away, but she has Prada sitting on her lap, looking very pleased with himself.]

For those of you who were worried, we're back! We managed to come back on our own just fine and we just got here a couple of hours ago.

If anyone -- Scott -- is looking for Stiles, he went to his cabin.

And Allison? [She grins brightly and shows her this picture on her phone.]

Come see me!

[Video - Anyone she offended with her previous post + Arthas]
[After greeting everyone and taking some time to unpack, she finally sits down on her chair and sends the message she's been dreading. But she knows she has to do it.]

Before the port, I did some things I'm not proud of. I wasn't in the best frame of mind and I think this is a big reason why the Admiral took away my inmate to begin with.

This break from the Barge has given me time to think and hopefully find a better way of dealing with things here, of being a better warden. If anyone would like to ask me questions about anything, or wants to clear things up with me, I'm available.

I won't try to justify the things I did before, but I want to apologize to anyone who might have been hurt or offended by my actions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She smiles slightly, but her face falls as she shakes her head and switches to private. Allison doesn't need to see this.]

We lost one of ours. Your option sounds a lot better, though.

--oh.

[The joviality drops off his face, replaced by something a lot more cautious and sincere.]

Shit, I'm sorry.

Edited 2015-06-27 07:06 (UTC)

It's-- it'll be okay. Once we have our deals. And she's here with us for now, so things are a lot better already.

[She adds with a soft smile, not wanting him to feel bad for asking.

But she does stop herself from adding a 'what about you' since someone's reasons for coming to the Barge are usually incredibly intimate.]

Yeah.

[He volunteers it anyway.]

I, uh, I'm here cuz I lost one of mine, too. S'pose it's not that unusual.

[Several million of his, but let's not fuss over numbers.]

No, sadly it seems pretty common here on the Barge.

[Lydia takes a deep breath, appreciating his willingness to share something so intimate with her. Especially with the way she initially treated him. It gives her hope that she can fix this whole fiasco with at least some of the people she hurt.]

But at least we're lucky enough to be able to change it.

Eventually.

Still tryin' to work out what I'm s'posed to be doing without an inmate besides just, I dunno. Tryin' to help keep the wheels on.

[This is not an appropriate metaphor but he doesn't have a more nautical one.]

Well, I've lost my inmate a couple of months ago. [And she's been very insecure about wardening since, but she's better now. At least more willing to try.]

So I've been focusing on helping all the other inmates that I can. And I also have the art room that keeps me busy.

Are you working anywhere?

Yeah - the gym, in the evenings. Nobody's tried to smash anyone's head in with the free weights on my watch, yet, so....goin' well, I s'pose?

[A pause, then:]

When you say 'lost', did they just...disappear?

That definitely sounds like a plus to me.

[Lydia takes a deep breath and nods slightly.]

Sometimes the Admiral just sends people back. I don't know why. Wardens and Inmates alike, people just disappear.

[The real question was whether they disappeared or whether the Admiral just took them off her and reassigned them. Hard to know which would be worse, really.]

I'm sorry that happened, Lydia. Ain't fair on any of you.

Thank you.

[She could tell him it's not a big deal, but she's trying the sincerity thing now. And it is a big deal. It shook her confidence enough to make her feel like she shouldn't be here at all. It's what started this whole mess.]

I feel like it's fair to have a head's up, since you're a warden. It happens. Happened to three other friends of mine. So don't be too hard on yourself if it happens to you.

[He can guess that this might have been advice she'd have benefited from herself.]

Do my best - thanks.

See you around, yeah?

Yeah, see you around.

[She smiles sincerely at him then takes a deep breath.]

And thanks. For the second chance.

[033. Keep giving me hope for a better day.]

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