[031. I can take so much. 'Til I've had enough.]

[lydiascreams]

[Open Video]

[Lydia took a break from sitting with Stiles and Kira, watching Scott as he slowly recovers from the death toll. She took Prada for a walk, showered, then got ready to go back to Kira's. But before, she wants to throw a topic out there. It's something that has been on her mind for a while now.

And after her talk with Kira about who hurt Scott and with Steve about who hurt him, after seeing what happened to Souji. After hearing about what Arthas did, she doesn't feel like they can wait any longer.]

I know everyone is still settling back in after the port. That a lot of you are still recovering from deaths and injuries, but I want to open a subject up for discussion.

I feel like there have been a lot more deaths on the barge lately. Both from inmates and wardens. And caused by inmates and wardens. I know a while back someone brought up taking the death toll for granted, and I don't remember what led to that discussion, but I agree.

We're all taking it for granted. If we die, we think we're guaranteed to come back. What if it stops working?

But even more importantly: why are we allowing ourselves to kill each other? Why are we dealing with murder as if there were no consequences?

I understand we don't always have control over our actions, I understand floods happen and we become affected. Infected. We become other people. But they are rare occasions when we're all out of control.

There is always someone around who can see things clearly. There's always someone who can take control and stop the people who are affected from hurting each other.

My suggestion -- and I would love to hear what the Admiral has to say about this -- is for us to find a system, an emergency system, where we can cap everyone's abilities -- human or otherwise, Inmates and Wardens alike -- if they become a threat to anyone. At any given time.

And I'd like to hear opinions everyone else might have on this.

Comments

[lydiascreams]

They're not. And it's our responsibility as Wardens to work with them until they're willing to do it. Until they can trust us enough, and we can trust them to tell the truth. And not to willingly hurt us.

[It's all part of the discussion, part of the brainstorming that she wanted to start for everyone. This is about safety on the Barge. For all of them.]

I'm glad you do.

[warisart]

Lydia, I would like you to do me a favor, if possible.

I anticipate that it will be helpful overall, or I would not request it.

[lydiascreams]

I'll do my best. [And she will, she just can't commit until she knows for sure because she wants to make sure she can deliver.]

What is it?

[warisart]

[He speaks again slowly, carefully, and would even if he weren't currently death tolling. It isn't a question of intelligence. It's a question of experience, in this case.]

When you consider your duty towards inmates - any inmate, your own, others, newly arrived, longterm - any inmate. Please consider the very, very likely fact that it is not inmates that we need to convince not to willingly hurt wardens.

It is, typically, the inmates that need to be convinced that wardens will not willingly hurt them. It is... not always as obvious to them as many think it should be.

[lydiascreams]

[She listens to him carefully. It's not something she thought of exactly, but she did have a similar train of thought when it came to wardens hurting inmates. She was thinking about their safety, about the fact that they're supposed to be better than that, that they're supposed to help, nor harm. And maybe that was the wrong approach to begin with.]

That makes sense. I hadn't thought about that, but I promise I will from now on. Think of a way for them to trust us instead of just telling them we're here to help. [It's tricky, because some of them will need to be locked up in zero still, but there has to be a balance, right?]

[warisart]

Many who end up here have learned to react as they do because of where they come from. They have learned to kill before they can be killed, hurt before they can be hurt. Or, as in my case, that it is to be expected that those with authority over them will hurt them eventually and routinely, and there is nothing they can do about it except endure.

It takes time. It takes allowing themselves to learn differently. And it takes a lot of risk, patience, and vigilance on our part.

[lydiascreams]

I know that. It's not about changing where they came from but giving them a chance to understand that it doesn't have to be like that anymore.

[And the thing about taking time-- she's fully aware of that, too. She went through a lot of change herself in the past couple of years and she knows it takes a while until it feels as natural as it does now. Especially when it comes to trust.]

[warisart]

But more than that: the chance must be accepted on their own timetable as well.

You cannot force them to understand anything, lest it become another choice they make solely for their own perceived survival. Do this, or else.