lydiascreams | [031. I can take so much. 'Til I've had enough.]

[Open Video]

[Lydia took a break from sitting with Stiles and Kira, watching Scott as he slowly recovers from the death toll. She took Prada for a walk, showered, then got ready to go back to Kira's. But before, she wants to throw a topic out there. It's something that has been on her mind for a while now.

And after her talk with Kira about who hurt Scott and with Steve about who hurt him, after seeing what happened to Souji. After hearing about what Arthas did, she doesn't feel like they can wait any longer.]

I know everyone is still settling back in after the port. That a lot of you are still recovering from deaths and injuries, but I want to open a subject up for discussion.

I feel like there have been a lot more deaths on the barge lately. Both from inmates and wardens. And caused by inmates and wardens. I know a while back someone brought up taking the death toll for granted, and I don't remember what led to that discussion, but I agree.

We're all taking it for granted. If we die, we think we're guaranteed to come back. What if it stops working?

But even more importantly: why are we allowing ourselves to kill each other? Why are we dealing with murder as if there were no consequences?

I understand we don't always have control over our actions, I understand floods happen and we become affected. Infected. We become other people. But they are rare occasions when we're all out of control.

There is always someone around who can see things clearly. There's always someone who can take control and stop the people who are affected from hurting each other.

My suggestion -- and I would love to hear what the Admiral has to say about this -- is for us to find a system, an emergency system, where we can cap everyone's abilities -- human or otherwise, Inmates and Wardens alike -- if they become a threat to anyone. At any given time.

And I'd like to hear opinions everyone else might have on this.

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[He doesn't hate it for those reasons, but for the others. For the floods and the horrible ports and the needless, senseless violence and death. He hates it for all those reasons.

But her words brings everything in his brain to a complete, screeching halt.]

W -- what?

[The violence and death definitely make the very top of her list. That's why she's pushing this conversation, after all.

When he tenses, though, she pulls back a little to look at him. She knows this is easier on her because her inmate is gone and for the time being, she's unassigned. But Dean can survive a week without him.]

Allison and Scott did it, it was good for them. [And she also knows there's probably something else that he could see as an issue.]

And of course I don't mean going home. Even if we go to our world, we can go somewhere else.

[The Allison and Scott comment takes him aback even more, but then she says she doesn't mean going home, but going somewhere else.

Oh.

That was not the kind of break he'd been assuming she meant. And he's glad he was wrong. Very glad.]

Oh. Where do you have in mind?

[His reaction isn't exactly what she's expecting, and it takes her a second to understand what the look on his face actually meant.]

Wait, Stiles. Did you think I meant an actual break?

[Because that worries her. It's not at all where they are, right.]

Between us?

[He winces and runs a hand over his face, shrugging and looking both uncomfortable and sheepish.]

Yeah, I guess that was -- what I thought you meant for a second.

[Her face falls and she shakes her head, lifting her hands to his arms.]

What made you think I'd want that?

[Because she doesn't, she needs him, he has to know that.]

[He relaxes a little at her touch, leaning in and pressing his lips against her forehead.]

Lack of sleep? Stress? My uncanny ability of jumping to the worst possible conclusion?

[He pauses, shakes his head a little.]

Nothing you did.

[Her face softens at that and she nods slightly. He does have that ability.

So she just takes a deep breath and wraps her arms around him.]

Okay. [She pulls back to look at him.]

But for the record, I wouldn't do that to you. If something was bothering me, I'd talk to you, first. And I wouldn't just make a decision like that.

[It's one of his best-honed skills.

Unfortunately it also tends to be fairly accurate. He's glad it's not in this case.]

I know. I know you wouldn't. [He presses another kiss to her forehead before he winds his arms around her.]

[She sighs softly, wrapping her arms tightly around him too. She knows he knows, but she's also okay with reminding him.]

I love you.

[He rests his head against hers and closes his eyes tightly. He knows, but he never gets tired of hearing it.]

I love you, too.

[031. I can take so much. 'Til I've had enough.]

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