lydiascreams | [031. I can take so much. 'Til I've had enough.]

[Open Video]

[Lydia took a break from sitting with Stiles and Kira, watching Scott as he slowly recovers from the death toll. She took Prada for a walk, showered, then got ready to go back to Kira's. But before, she wants to throw a topic out there. It's something that has been on her mind for a while now.

And after her talk with Kira about who hurt Scott and with Steve about who hurt him, after seeing what happened to Souji. After hearing about what Arthas did, she doesn't feel like they can wait any longer.]

I know everyone is still settling back in after the port. That a lot of you are still recovering from deaths and injuries, but I want to open a subject up for discussion.

I feel like there have been a lot more deaths on the barge lately. Both from inmates and wardens. And caused by inmates and wardens. I know a while back someone brought up taking the death toll for granted, and I don't remember what led to that discussion, but I agree.

We're all taking it for granted. If we die, we think we're guaranteed to come back. What if it stops working?

But even more importantly: why are we allowing ourselves to kill each other? Why are we dealing with murder as if there were no consequences?

I understand we don't always have control over our actions, I understand floods happen and we become affected. Infected. We become other people. But they are rare occasions when we're all out of control.

There is always someone around who can see things clearly. There's always someone who can take control and stop the people who are affected from hurting each other.

My suggestion -- and I would love to hear what the Admiral has to say about this -- is for us to find a system, an emergency system, where we can cap everyone's abilities -- human or otherwise, Inmates and Wardens alike -- if they become a threat to anyone. At any given time.

And I'd like to hear opinions everyone else might have on this.

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[She can barely hear what he has to say. All she can do is stare at him, her chest tight. He looks absolutely terrible. Worse than she remembers him being when he got there, but it might just be that she didn't know him as well then.

She switches the feed to private, because she's absolutely not having this discussion right now.]

You're sick, Souji. [Her eyes narrow when she tries to figure out where he is. It doesn't look like the place where he should be.]

You're not at the infirmary?

[Bare though it is, the sliding doors and bamboo mats on the floor make it clear that he's in his own room. He's sitting on his bedroll, back against the wall, propping him up.]

Other people need it more right now. I'll-- I'll go when it's less busy, Miss Lydia. Please don't be concerned!

[She knows it's a cultural and time difference, but his room looks, anything but cozy. She doesn't wanna offend him by bringing him what she'd consider a real bed, but she wants to do it.]

Too late, Souji.

Is there anything that helps you feel better?

[He likes the infirmary beds because it feels like sleeping on soft, warm clouds-- but he's started associating these kinds of beds with the sick bay, and he wouldn't want one in his own room. Still, she's welcome to try.]

Tea soothes it, sometimes. But... other than that, I just have to wait.

I'll bring you tea. And maybe some more pillows and comforters? I want you to be comfortable.

[And then she pauses and shakes her head, because obviously that's not enough.]

Actually, why don't you stay in my room? I can stay with Stiles until you get better.

I-I couldn't ask that of you. [Never mind that he didn't ask to begin with-- he looks conflicted, grateful for her friendship but not sure how to turn her down politely. He can't make that sort of an imposition.]

My own room is fine. Just-- just tea is fine.

You're not asking me. I'm offering. I stay at Stiles' most of the time anyway. It wouldn't be an issue.

[That much is true. She comes back to the Cabin to shower and grab clothes every day, but she can just pick up clothes when she goes check on him, anyway.]

I don't... [He bites his lip again, looks down at his hands]

I'm sorry for worrying you. I didn't mean to.

Don't apologize, Souji. It's what friends do.

[She glances around her room for a moment, then back at him.]

I'll set things up in here and I'll come get you, okay?

[She says that so casually, and he knows she has no idea how much that means to him: that she'd be a friend to him, when he is who he is.]

I'll repay you. I promise.

I don't expect you to.

[The days when she'd choose her 'friends' based on what they could do for her are long gone. She's a better person now, thanks to the pack.]

I'll see you soon.

[031. I can take so much. 'Til I've had enough.]

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