[021. We are broken, we can't fix it]

[lydiascreams]

[She watched Allison's announcement. First with a horrifying fear that she was leaving to go back home, to die. She almost interjected then. She almost told her she'd leave herself if Allison wanted to stay.

But then she explained and Lydia let it go. She could understand needing space, needing time. This is the reason why she's been sitting up on the deck by herself since their argument. Hiding, afterall.

And while she's not done with her quiet time, she'd not done thinking about everything she said to Allison, and Allison said to her, she knows she needs to reach out to the others and tell them what she knows.]


[Video - Pack, no Allison]
[Her face is pale when she starts the video, and eyes might still be red, but she's not crying anymore. Her voice is flat when she speaks, though.]

Someone needs to talk to her. Make sure this place is safe. [Lydia hesitates and takes a deep breath.]

What happened at the other Barge-- she's not thinking straight. [And Lydia apparently just made it a lot worse.]


[Video - Zane]
[She'll just get straight to the point with this one.]

What is this place you suggested for Allison?

Comments

Pack Filter, No Allison

[whatthefoxsay]

[Kira sees the annoyance. It may get worse.]

You are the smartest person I know.

So I understand this is an emotional thing, not an intellect thing, but: Allison makes her own choices. The things that happen to you, to me, to any of us - they simply happen, and we have to process and react. If Allison makes a choice to protect you, to love you as her friend, you can't stop her. If you think alienating her to distance her from danger that's around you is good for you or her, you're wrong. And if you think trying to stop her from being who she is - the person we all care about, the person you care about will be good for you or her, you're wrong.

[There's a pause. One doesn't tell Lydia Martin she's wrong about something every day. Or ever. And now she feels bad.] I'm sorry.

[private]

[lydiascreams]

[Rationally, she sees Kira's point. She understand what she's trying to say. But she also knows Kira doesn't have all the details. So instead of getting emotional about it, she'll explain.]

You don't understand, Kira.

It's not about pushing her away, it's not about alienating her. I don't want that. But it's the only thing I have left.

I have to push her away. Because if she goes after Jerry? If, somehow, she manages to kill him before he kills her? She can be demoted. She can be stuck in this ship until she graduates and while we all know Allison is a good person, as you can see, she's not very good at listening. And I'm terrified that becoming an inmate would just destroy her even more.

So no, this isn't about me, it isn't about her protecting me. It's about me trying to protect her from herself.

[private]

[whatthefoxsay]

Do you think pushing her away is going to stop her?

[Because Kira doesn't think it will.]

[private]

[lydiascreams]

Right now, I'm wiling to try anything that will make her stop and think. That'll make her listen.

[private]

[whatthefoxsay]

I'm sorry.

[She's sorry because she doesn't know what to suggest. Because she got out of line. Because she empathizes with Lydia's worry for her dearest friend.]

[private]

[lydiascreams]

[And Lydia feels bad now. She knows Kira is trying to help. But at the same time, in ways, she's still the new girl. She has helped save Stiles' life. Her own life. But she doesn't know them as well. Not yet. And it's not her fault. None of it is.]

We'll figure it out. [They have to.]