[The thing is - and this is where it gets weird for him - he doesn't feel like that's true anymore. The first time he'd killed someone, really, honest to God killed someone and not just pointed a gun and fired, he'd felt a little sick afterward, but there hadn't been time to sit around feeling bad about it. Even when there had been, it hadn't really torn at him the way she seems to think it should have. Now, he doesn't feel much of anything about it. If you want to stay sane, you put it out of your head and keep going, because wallowing in it is going to get you or your buddies killed.
Bucky still doesn't think he's a bad person. Not really. But he doesn't feel much of anything when he kills people, and he's not sure what that says about him.
(It makes him think about nightmares where he sees and feels Zola or Schmidt reaching for his face, trying to peel back his skin to show him what they'd turned him into, but he knows he can't even blame it all on them. He'd been comfortable with killing long before they'd tried to turn him into the Red Skull Jr.)]
It hurts worse when a friend dies and you could've done something to stop it. You have to live with that, too.
spam
Bucky still doesn't think he's a bad person. Not really. But he doesn't feel much of anything when he kills people, and he's not sure what that says about him.
(It makes him think about nightmares where he sees and feels Zola or Schmidt reaching for his face, trying to peel back his skin to show him what they'd turned him into, but he knows he can't even blame it all on them. He'd been comfortable with killing long before they'd tried to turn him into the Red Skull Jr.)]
It hurts worse when a friend dies and you could've done something to stop it. You have to live with that, too.