I know. But I know I said it before - she wouldn't be Allison if she didn't do that for you. It doesn't make it better or easier or maybe even right, but it's what she's going to do, and she might not ever stop. You might have to accept that, because she sounds about as stubborn as they come.
[Not that he knows anything about that. No, of course not.
He hates the sight of her crying; he glances down for a minute, because he's not even sure if he should keep going or not. But coddling her, telling her he's sorry, it's not really going to help. He is sorry, and he knows she knows it. But there's more that she needs to hear, and maybe it's selfish, but telling her a little of what he tells himself, every day, maybe helps to cement it for him, too.]
Yes, you can. Trust me. I know you can. You'll never forget what you saw. How you felt. [He knows that. Knows it from personal experience, from at least half of the recurring nightmares that still follow him.] But she's here now, Lydia. She's here, being exactly herself, which got you into this mess, sure, but...
Would you really, truly want to change her? [He suspects not.] You'd change the circumstances. You'd change her death, undo it. But you wouldn't change her, because she's the one who's your best friend, and you accept that, you accept her.
I think you've just got to keep at it. Keep telling her what you're telling me. That you need her here. That you've got her back, like she's got yours, and that you're not going anywhere. You don't give up on her, and she won't give up on herself.
Look - maybe I'm old-fashioned, and I know we're not best friends or anything, but... do you want some company? I'd offer you a handkerchief, but it's a little hard over the, uh, phone.
[private]
[Not that he knows anything about that. No, of course not.
He hates the sight of her crying; he glances down for a minute, because he's not even sure if he should keep going or not. But coddling her, telling her he's sorry, it's not really going to help. He is sorry, and he knows she knows it. But there's more that she needs to hear, and maybe it's selfish, but telling her a little of what he tells himself, every day, maybe helps to cement it for him, too.]
Yes, you can. Trust me. I know you can. You'll never forget what you saw. How you felt. [He knows that. Knows it from personal experience, from at least half of the recurring nightmares that still follow him.] But she's here now, Lydia. She's here, being exactly herself, which got you into this mess, sure, but...
Would you really, truly want to change her? [He suspects not.] You'd change the circumstances. You'd change her death, undo it. But you wouldn't change her, because she's the one who's your best friend, and you accept that, you accept her.
I think you've just got to keep at it. Keep telling her what you're telling me. That you need her here. That you've got her back, like she's got yours, and that you're not going anywhere. You don't give up on her, and she won't give up on herself.
Look - maybe I'm old-fashioned, and I know we're not best friends or anything, but... do you want some company? I'd offer you a handkerchief, but it's a little hard over the, uh, phone.
[But she can turn him down, and he won't push.]